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The Devil's Beatitudes!

If the devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians - they are my best workers.

Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy. With a bit of luck, they may stop going to church - they are my missionaries.

Blessed are the troublemakers - they shall be called my children.

Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears to them.

Blessed are they who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes - for they get nothing out of his sermons.

Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church - for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

Blessed are they who gossip - for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

Blessed are they who are easily offended - for they will soon get angry and quit.

Blessed are they who do not give their offering to carry on God's work - for they are my helpers.

Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister - for he shall be with me forever.

Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself - I've got you.